Posts Tagged nonfiction

book review: Future Sex

future-sex

Future Sex by Emily Witt. Farrar, Straus and Giroux| October 2016| 210 pages | $25.00| 9780865478794

RATING: *****/5*

“I had not chosen to be single but love is rare and it is frequently unreciprocated. Without love I saw no reason to form a permanent attachment to any particular place. Love determined how humans arrayed themselves in space.”

Technology changes everything. It changes how we meet people and it changes how we interact with others. There’s more sexual fluidity and experimental sex than in the past because of both changing ideologies as well as the ability to remain anonymous online if one chooses to indulge in one’s fantasies. Whatever you fancy you’re likely to find it. However, society still expects people to couple up to have families. Author Emily Witt writes: “If every expression of free sexuality by a woman would be second-guessed, it left men as the sole rational agents of sexual narrative. The woman was rarely granted the heroic role of seducer. If a woman pursued a strictly sexual experience, she was seen as succumbing to the wishes of the sovereign subject.” We live in a rampant rape culture. Women also get slut-shamed for wanting and pursuing sex. Can someone subsist outside of a monogamous relationship? Does everyone need to be part of a couple? This book strongly suggests that it’s not essential although how far outside the cultural norms must one go to be happy? Witt explains: “I supposed that since then I had been nonmonogamous in the sense of sometimes having sex with several different people within a specific period of time. As I said this both the idea of counting people and the idea of grouping them within a time frame seemed arbitrary. This was just my life: I lived it and sometimes had sex with people. Sometimes I wanted to commit to people, or they to me, but in the past two years no such interests had fallen into alignment.” Future Sex reads as a fascinating sociological study on sexuality that delves into orgasmic mediation, internet porn, webcams, Burning Man and polyamory. Witt combines personal experience with research and reporting in a darkly amusing, honest and real manner.  Witt investigates sites I’d barely heard of: Chaturbate; Porn Hub; Kink.com; Fetlife. She attends an orgasmic mediation workshop [looked up on YouTube and there are tutorials] and travels to Burning Man. She interviews tons of people such as polyamorous Google employees, the founder of OKCupid, a 19-year-old webcammer as well as a woman who creates female-centered porn. Witt doesn’t make a spectacle of what may be absurd. Instead she writes analytically, astutely with brevity and a sharp edge.

–review by Amy Steele

FTC Disclosure: I received this book for review from Farrar, Straus and Giroux.

Emily Witt will be at Harvard Book Store on Monday, October 17, 2016

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STEELE PICKS: BEST NONFICTION OF 2015

Drawing Blood by Molly Crabapple [Harper]
–from my review: Feminist and activist Molly Crabapple details her journey from burlesque dancer to artist who sketches conflicts and society’s woes with fervent energy in this compelling memoir. The memoir maintains a perfect tone. Molly assumes nothing. She’s not arrogant or condescending but genuine and earnest. She describes events just enough to remind us of what happened and provides us with insight from her perspective. Just what a memoirist should do. These pages burst with stunning moments, pure honesty, inspiration, scrappiness, art and politics. Just read it already! It’s truly perfect and riveting. purchase at Amazon: Drawing Blood

drawing blood

Ongoingness: The End of a Diary by Sarah Manguso [Graywolf Press]
–started reading this one morning and couldn’t stop until I finished. It’s a thin but potent meditation on journaling and why we keep records of what we do. what’s important then and now. fascinating. purchase at Amazon: Ongoingness: The End of a Diary

ongoingness

Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl by Carrie Brownstein [Riverhead Books]
–One of the best music memoirs ever. Engrossing. Honest. Raw. Strong feminist voice. purchase at Amazon: Hunger Makes Me a Modern Girl: A Memoir

hunger makes me

Moody Bitches by Julie Holland, MD [Penguin Press]
–Every woman should read this. Important info about meds, sleep, sex and overall health. appreciate the mind-body connection and alternative treatments discussed. some new, some older information all tied together quite nicely and in an open, honest, conversational manner. purchase at Amazon: Moody Bitches: The Truth About the Drugs You’re Taking, The Sleep You’re Missing, The Sex You’re Not Having, and What’s Really Making You Crazy

moody bitches

Project Animal Farm by Sonia Faruqui[Pegasus Books]
–from my review: Even when you know that there’s mistreatment among dairy and animal farms, as I do, this remains a shocking and detailed expose into the disheartening and mostly cruel world of food production. purchase at Amazon: Project Animal Farm: An Accidental Journey into the Secret World of Farming and the Truth About Our Food

project animal farm

Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates [Spiegel & Grau]
–outstanding. honest. gorgeous writing. purchase at Amazon: Between the World and Me

between the worldl and me

We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie [Anchor]
–everyone needs feminism. everyone needs this book. it’s perfect. purchase at Amazon: We Should All Be Feminists

we should all be feminists

Girl in a Band by Kim Gordon [Dey Street Books]
–from my review: Gordon writes rather quite a free-form drifting from subject to subject and playing around with chronology. A reader can easily skip around and not be confused. The sections with vivid descriptions of New York in the 1980s and 1980s stand-out for authenticity and color. There’s plenty of awesomeness in this memoir. Insecurity combined with risk taking. Deconstructing one’s experiences.Throughout this memoir, the feminist, artist and musician provides readers coolness, the detachment and strong opinions. Gordon removes herself from personal situations and provides a detached observer’s perspective. At other times she’s a bit warmer. While rambling and occasionally disjointed, it works. purchase at Amazon: Girl in a Band: A Memoir

girl in a band

Missoula by Jon Krakauer [Doubleday]
–rape culture at The University of Montana. It’s enraging, complex and incredible. An important read. purchase at Amazon: Missoula: Rape and the Justice System in a College Town

missoula

Concussion by Jeanne Marie Laskas [Random House Trade Paperbacks]
–Accomplished and determined pathologist Dr. Bennet Omalu seeks to prove a connection between concussions and behavioral changes. The NFL fights him the entire way. An engrossing true life medical mystery. Dr. Omalu has depression and that makes his interest in the brain even more fascinating. It’s also interesting how he balances living with depression with his career. purchase at Amazon: Concussion

concussion

Dear Mr. You by Mary-Louise Parker [Scribner]
–clever this memoir in letters. Bits and pieces of a life. Amusing, touching, maddening, endearing moments. Mary-Louise Parker reveals herself in novel, random, intimate and raw ways. purchase at Amazon: Dear Mr. You

dr mr you

Troublemaker by Leah Remini [Ballantine Books]
–listened to the audio which I highly recommend. Leah has an upbeat, brash and fiery personality that comes through in telling her story. She gives details about the celebrity culture of Scientology as well as its strange requirements. She talks about Tom Cruise, his wedding to Katie Holmes, children Connor and Isabella and their non-relationship with Nicole Kidman [“she’s an SP,” Bella tells Leah in disgust]. I’ve read Going Clear and watched the documentary so am somewhat familiar with the Scientology process. Leah truly opens up about the money she paid, the classes she took and the time she spent on this religion— hours every day and millions of dollars. Leah questions many aspects of Scientology and the higher-ups try to punish her and silence her and she finally decided to leave the church. Leah also speaks about King of Queens and her brief time on The Talk. It’s sometimes shocking and always unapologetic. purchase at Amazon: Troublemaker: Surviving Hollywood and Scientology

troublemaker

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