RATING: 3.5 /5*
Laura, an aspiring singer/songwriter from Ohio, moves to New York to share an apartment with Callie, her best friend from high school. Despite her plans to avoid dating, Laura ends up falling in love with the bass player in an up-and-coming band. Turns out she’s more into him than he is with her: “Laura fought back the urge, again, to tell him that she loved him, to claim him officially somehow. The thought of him with random girls in different cities made her want to peel off her skin. She wished that they were married. She wanted everyone he met to know they were together. There was no possible way to express any of this to him.” It turns out that Laura wants to be independent and successful on her own merits but also wants to be in a relationship. Which, of course, is possible. It just isn’t possible with this guy. She’s a people pleaser and I almost cringed at the part where she’s over there cooking dinner for Dylan and his roommate/bandmate. I had a crush on a guy in a band one time and would walk his dog for him several times a week thinking that would make him more interested in me. Foolishness that I can’t say I didn’t repeat.
Dylan enjoys the attention and frenetic lifestyle associated with being in a band and touring. Laura and Callie form a band that opens for Dylan’s band and has some potential due to Laura’s songwriting prowess. Dylan’s a troubled soul struggling with a mood disorder and addiction. Sadly relatable: “He was swaying and slurring as he said this. Laura understood, without wanting to, that Dylan was much more interested in getting fucked up than he was in having sex with her.” The short-lived romance ends in tragedy and a life-changing pregnancy for Laura. She ultimately chooses her daughter over her career and her friend Callie ends up with a successful music career; maybe the one that Laura initially wanted.
Divided into three parts, the novel focuses on Laura’s early years in New York, Laura being a young mother and then on Laura’s teenage daughter Marie and her desire to learn about her biological father. As I’ve worked in the music business and have followed bands and dated musicians and experienced unrequited love (too often), I could completely relate to Laura’s early experiences in New York. I lost a bit of interest in the motherhood part. I wanted more details and focus on Laura’s songwriting. The title suggested as much and I expected more. Despite its pivot from singer/songwriter to motherhood, it’s a mostly enjoyable, quick read. Although I was disappointed, I still kept reading which attests to Emily Gould’s writing talents. I’ll try another one of her novels.