Archive for category Dating/Sex
Going Down– oral sex stories: book review
Posted by Amy Steele in Books, Dating/Sex on May 22, 2012
Going Down: Oral Sex Stories edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel. Publisher: Cleis Press (2012). Fiction/erotica. Paperback. 206 pages. 978-1573447898.
I’m not the blushing type when reading sex scenes like those described in this collection. The focus being on something I enjoy immensely, I appreciated these stories. If you too like oral sex, you’ll Going Down: Oral Sex Stories. If you find oral sex strange or gross or something, read these and your mind will surely open to greater possibilities. A woman keeps track of all the ways she can give her guy oral in “The Thousand and One Ways.” When she hooks up with her neighbor’s husband, a woman discovers that this woman she’s envied isn’t the woman she thought she was at all in “Pretty Dull.”
“Lavender” by Cynthia Hamilton details a meeting of strangers at a hotel room told from the man’s point of view—“Then you tease the snug opening with the point of your tongue again, this time drawing her slick cream upward, parting the soft, pliant lips, then flattering your tongue to deliver a slow lick over that sweet little bundle of nerve endings.” In the fun “Dover to Victoria Station,” author Roxy Rogers describes a coupling in the loo—“That is what I want: his undivided attention, his craving. It’s what all women want from their men, whether they’ll admit it or not.” Another I particularly enjoyed [and made me think of 50 Shades of Grey, which I haven’t read and do not plan to read] describes a woman’s secret adventure in the senses and in passion. Blindfolded, she’s pleased by numerous people she can’t see but can touch, feel, smell, taste and hear. “I try to steady myself, gasping from the first sensations, so close to orgasm, still feeling their tongues, fingers, the warmth of their bodies against mine.” Every woman will find several stories in Going Down that will intrigue her and maybe even make her tingle.
purchase at Amazon: Going Down: Oral Sex Stories
Dating/ Sex: The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot [book review]
Posted by Amy Steele in Books, Dating/Sex on April 23, 2012
The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot by Violet Blue. Publisher: Cleis Press (2012). Sexuality/ self-help. Paperback. 142 pages. 978-1573447805.
“The clitoris may be our smug little mistress of gratification, pure in orgasmic purpose within her princess seat atop the female pleasure system. But girls who’ve taken their erotic explorations further on into G-spot territory know that the clitoris is but a sweet sentry to the intense pleasure that lies within.”
Don’t know where your G-spot is? Think it’s elusive? It’s not and author Violet Blue wants to help you with this easy to read, informative little book. It’s pillowy and contains different tissues than the clitoris thus varied pleasures. [A friend of mine didn’t even know where her clitoris was until she was 30-something and had already had a child.] Sad. In 2012 to access true pleasure and to know what feels good when with a partner, you have to know your body. The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-spot contains an illustrated guide to woman’s anatomy and includes erotic stories by Alison Tyler to turn you on for exploration. Blue explains location of the G-spot, finding it, playing with it, the concept of squirting and g-spot orgasms as well as solo and partner play.
–the G-spot is “a bundle of nerves, tiny glands and erectile tissue”
–the G-spot is named for German gynecologist and researcher Dr. Ernest Grafenberg who focused on contraceptive research in the 1920s and 1930s [he was imprisoned during WWII]
–the G-spot’s located in an area often more easily accessible by a lover [angle and pressure]
–review by Amy Steele
purchase at Amazon: The Smart Girl’s Guide to the G-Spot
Dating: a few tips for guys
Posted by Amy Steele in Dating/Sex on October 7, 2011
–Be polite. Open the car door. Walk next to your date. Let her go first. It has nothing to do with feminism, it’s dating and you should be a gentleman.
–Choose a place that’s halfway between you and your date or convenient for both.
–Don’t drink too much. You’re there to get to know your date.
–Splitting the check is tacky.
–Don’t tell her how many children you have at the end of the date. Share the information before or early on in the date.
–Remember personal grooming. Clip those nose hairs and long, stray eyebrow hairs. Shave.
–Refrain from talking about other women you’ve dated and don’t ask your date about her exes. It’s not important in the present moment. It may never be important.
–Want something casual? Want a long-term relationship? Don’t announce this before you’ve spent time with someone. Why put a label on something that hasn’t started?
–Don’t take phone calls. Don’t text. Don’t tweet. RUDE.
–If you do end up kissing at the end of the night, don’t grope her.
–Make eye contact.
–Show some interest in your date. ask some questions.
–If you’re not divorced or have been separated less than six months, don’t date. it’s not fair to the woman. you’re not completely available, yet if ever.
–If she’s a vegan or vegetarian, don’t eat something in front of her that would be offensive.
–You want to see her again? Tell her that before she walks away.
National HIV Testing Day– 27 June– don’t know your status? find out!
Posted by Amy Steele in Dating/Sex on June 27, 2011
CDC recommends that everyone ages 13-64 be tested once for HIV.
Find a place to get tested in your community or text your zip code to KNOW IT, that’s 5-6-6-9-4-8.
What is HIV?
HIV stands for human immunodeficiency virus. The virus can lead to acquired immune deficiency syndrome, or AIDS.
How does HIV get transmitted?
–not using a condom when having sex with a person who has HIV
–having multiple sex partners or other sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) can increase the risk of infection during sex
–unprotected oral sex can also be a risk for HIV transmission, but it is a much lower risk than anal or vaginal sex
–sharing needles, syringes, rinse water, or other equipment used with injected drugs [such as heroin]
–being born to an infected mother—HIV can be passed from mother to child during pregnancy, birth, or breast-feeding.
[source: CDC]
get more info at NAPWA [National Assoc. of People with AIDS]
Dating/Sex: You Know He Doesn’t Love You When . . .
Posted by Amy Steele in Dating/Sex on May 23, 2011
He will not read any of the reviews you write
He does not regularly read your blog or website
He will not read the relatively short children’s book you spent a many hours researching and writing (but he will give you plenty of advice on marketing and telling you it will not sell)
He says things to you like: “I like you but I think you’re going to collapse and die. You’re going to be eating out of dumpsters in two years.”
He tells you: “your actions can always disappoint me.”
He can list all the jobs you were fired from better than you can.
He always walks five paces ahead of you and refuses to slow down. Instead he insists you catch up to him.
When you say, “I love you,” he remains silent or says, “I know.”
He doesn’t list you as an emergency contact.
You are not programmed into his cell phone (or email) address book.
He does not remember your birthday although he’s known you for more than five years.
He cannot remember how long he’s known you.
When you start to talk he walks away if you don’t get right to the point in three minutes or less.
He compartmentalizes his life: family/work/you. Nothing blends/mixes/no one crosses paths.
He gets popcorn at the movies and doesn’t offer you any and only gets a drink for himself.
You color your hair from red to dark brown and he doesn’t notice. You get your hair cut and he doesn’t comment/ notice.
He calls you a drug addict and you take prescription pills for anxiety.
He goes away for a week and doesn’t call or email you the entire time he’s gone.
When he picks you up, he sometimes doesn’t even say hello right away.
He’s not affectionate with you. No hugging and definitely very few kisses.
Spinster by Sylvia Plath
Posted by Amy Steele in Dating/Sex on April 25, 2011
painting by Kevin Lawrence Leveque
Now this particular girl
During a ceremonious April walk
With her latest suitor
Found herself, of a sudden, intolerably struck
By the birds’ irregular babel
And the leaves’ litter.
By this tumult afflicted, she
Observed her lover’s gestures unbalance the air,
His gait stray uneven
Through a rank wilderness of fern and flower.
She judged petals in disarray,
The whole season, sloven.
How she longed for winter then!—
Scrupulously austere in its order
Of white and black
Ice and rock, each sentiment within border
And heart’s frosty discipline
Exact as a snowflake.
But here—a burgeoning
Unruly enough to pitch her five queenly wits
Into vulgar motley—
A treason not to be borne. Let idiots
Reel giddy in bedlam spring:
She withdrew neatly.
And round her house she set
Such a barricade of barb and check
Against mutinous weather
As no mere insurgent man could hope to break
With curse, fist, threat
Or love, either.
DATING: It’s Spring, this is Boston. Take advantage of it.
Posted by Amy Steele in Dating/Sex on April 10, 2011
Boston by Foot tours.
admission: $12
tours of particular interest–
Grave Undertaking: Death in Boston
walk around Arnold Arboretum & then go get coffee in JP
admission: FREE
bowling at Sacco’s Bowl Haven in Somerville and then yuppie nachos at Christopher’s in Porter Square
see the art at Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum and tea/coffee at the Gardner Cafe.
admission: $12
hours:
Tuesday-Sunday
11 am-5 pm, until 8 pm on the third Thursday of each month.
hiking at The Fells in Stoneham
admission: FREE
brunch in the South End and going to a matinee of a play at BCA or Huntington Theatre
Garden in the Woods, Framingham
admission: $10
tapas at Tasca in Brighton and then check out a band at Great Scott in Allston
martinis at Bar 10 at the Westin and then take in a play at the Lyric Stage
take in a student recital/concert at New England Conservatory or at Berklee– you might hear the next Esperanza Spaulding!
admission: FREE unless there’s a special concert
Choice Quote: sexualization of eating meat
Posted by Amy Steele in Celebs, Dating/Sex, vegan/ vegetarian on February 21, 2011
from New York Times
For a cultural observer like Carol J. Adams — a vegan-feminist intellectual who, in books like “The Sexual Politics of Meat,” has devoted much of her life to culling and analyzing images of women and food — the DIPE [documented instance of public eating] amounts to more than a playful wink. Sexualizing food, she argues, is a method of distracting carnivores from the gruesome reality of how their food is made.
“These images of women, whether they’re ads or they’re in magazines, they’re all saying the same thing: traditional consumption of women’s bodies and animals’ bodies is O.K.,” Ms. Adams said by phone from her home in Texas. “It’s like fraternity culture gone viral. ‘Consume what you want.’ And, ‘What you want to consume actually wants to be consumed.’ ”
some favorite films about love [not always happy] for Valentine’s Day
Posted by Amy Steele in Dating/Sex, DVD on February 14, 2011
Though I rarely have a valentine on Valentine’s Day and am not a particular fan of the holiday, I’m hopeful to find LOVE someday. Here are some of my favorite love stories on film.
Brokeback Mountain
“I can’t quit you.” That just says it all. Jake Gyllenhaal and the late Heath Ledger show what unconditional love is all about.
Love & Sex
Kate [Famke Janssen] is a magazine writer given the assignment to write about love and sex: a guide for single women. She hasn’t dated since she broke up with Adam [Jon Favreau]. In writing the article she recalls past romances and Adam keeps coming back. It’s hysterical and Janssen and Favreau are great together.
Romeo & Juliet
Shakepeare’s classic story of star-crossed lovers gets the updated treatment with Claire Danes and Leonardo DiCaprio.
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
When a romance goes awry, would you want to erase all memories of it and that person you loved? That is the unique concept behind writer Charlie Kaufman’s script. Under the astute direction of Michel Gondry, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, starring Kate Winslet and Jim Carrey, ranks as one of my favorite films. It is a fabulous and romantic film. It’s amazing and thoughtful and the performances are brilliant all around [Kirsten Dunst, Mark Ruffalo and Elijah Wood].
The Apartment
Love Shirley MacLaine and Jack Lemmon together here. Such a romantic classic and it won Best Picture in 1960. Fran [MacLaine] is an elevator operator in CC. “Bud” [Lemmon] Baxter’s office building. She keeps having affairs with married men. Bud falls for Fran and wants to protect her at all costs.
“That’s the way it crumbles . . . cookie-wise.”
Roman Holiday
Gregory Peck and Audrey Hepburn together. I need not say much more. Audrey won an Oscar for her performance as a rebellious princess who sets off to explore Rome on her own. She meets an American newspaper reporter who wants a real scoop. He pretends he doesn’t know who she is to get the story but then they fall in love. Oh so romantic!
Love and Basketball
Friends since they were children, both Monica [Sanaa Lathan] and Quincy [Omar Epps] are ace basketball players. Both make very different decisions about their relationship, the sport and their academic careers. It’s a fantastic sports film and feminist love story [written and directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood].
.
Kate & Leopold
Meg Ryan and Hugh Jackman make time travel so appealing. Do you ever wonder if you were born at the wrong time or in the wrong place? I’ve thought about it. This is a fun and sweet film.
Pride & Prejudice
Keira Knightley stars as Lizzie Bennet in this Jane Austen classic. This is probably my favorite adaptation [excluding the miniseries with Jennifer Ehle and Colin Firth].
Possession
Two literary scholars are studying Victorian poets who had an affair. This brings together Maud [Gwyneth Paltrow] and Roland [Aaron Eckhart] as they attempt to uncover the mystery of the Victorian affair. Based on the wonderful novel by A.S. Byatt.
The Whole Wide World
Writer Robert Howard [Vincent D'Onofrio] created the Conan the Barbarian series. This is the true story of his love affair with a small town school teacher Novalyne Price [Renee Zellweger].
Before Sunrise/ Before Sunset
It’s imperative that you do a double feature of these Richard Linklater romantic films starring Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy.
Once
A brokenhearted street musician [Glen Hansard] meets a keyboardist [Marketa Irglova] and for a week they make music together and fall in love. The soundtrack is spectacular too.
DATING: Be Creative Guys!
Posted by Amy Steele in Dating/Sex on November 9, 2010
My twitter pal in Chicago sent me the link to this article called Nice Guys Turning You Off?
After dating a bevy of mean-ish guys I thought I’d give a nice guy a chance but after four dates I didn’t want to have sex with him. He was just too blah. Too vanilla. He may have been a dim intellect [a term I'm stealing from Annie because it's so fitting] and just not creative or cultured enough for me.
One of the writer’s suggestions is for a creative, fun date.
I have some ideas for Boston:
bowling at Sacco’s Bowl Haven in Somerville and then yuppie nachos at Christopher’s in Porter Square
walk around Arnold Arboretum then on to see the art at Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum and tea/coffee at the Gardner Cafe.
brunch in the South End and going to a matinee of a play at BCA or Huntington Theatre
tapas at Tasca in Brighton and then check out a band at Great Scott in Allston
martinis at Bar 10 at the Westin and then take in a play at the Lyric Stage
dinner at The Helmand in Kendall Square and then an indie or foreign film at Kendall Square Cinema
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Journalist/Critic/Writer. Medical Assistant. Vegan. Alternative Gen-Xer. Volunteer. Avid reader. Masters in journalism from Boston University. BA from Simmons College.
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